Sometimes all it takes is a change in attitude to deliver us from difficulties.

Some years ago, I found myself in an internal conflict over a situation with one of my  clients. Although I cannot remember what it was about, at that time it was of such importance that it was holding my attention and imagination hostage. What I do remember is, whatever it was I wanted was not available to me at that time.

So there I was, rolling down the freeway in the clutches of the aggravation and attachment to my desired outcome. Having worked myself up into a froth of frustration, I finally remembered I could ask for help.

“Please,”  I assailed my Source, “Help me! I can’t figure out how to resolve this. What am I supposed to do? Give me a sign!”

Just then, my exit presented itself and I as I veered off the freeway and around a sweeping curve to merge into a boulevard of traffic, there to my right was a red and white triangular sign that simply said . . . Yield.

It was another block or two before the full impact of the message blossomed in my mind. Stunned into stillness by the subtle simplicity of its wisdom, I was able to let go of the way I thought things should be and be with the way things were. As my mind floated free from resistance, my whole body relaxed and a sense of relief and hopefulness flooded through me. Yield! Ah so.

To this day, I am unable to remember the factual content of this conflict to include in this story. But as it turns out, the story is not about the content. The story is about the process. Once I was able to yield my position as an opposing force, of pushing against the other person’s position, I was free to consider other possibilities. Those included a number of different solutions and outcomes and also the option of simply waiting until a resolution I hadn’t thought of came my way.

The esoteric science of Alchemy offers us the principle,  “Tertium non datur,” which translates as “The third thing is not given.” I interpret this as meaning that on the level at which a conflict or opposition arises, the solution is not available. One must step aside, yield as it were, to release the pressure of pushing against the other, to release the need to defend or aggress.

This yielding is not a giving up or resigning ourselves to loss or failure. It is a position of fluidity that allows us new perspectives. This in turn allows us to access our Fair Witness, who, free from judgment, is able to entertain all possibilities and who has the broad vision to help us seek a wise resolution.

Once there, we can feel safe enough to open our hearts to compassion, for ourselves and the other, and to access the courage to change. Once there, we can give up our small desires for some larger solution, something with benefit for all.

Sometimes there are days when we simply don’t feel well. When we are restless, tired, depressed. When we are suffering from undefined, random discontent.

Here are lists of some of my remedies. Different approaches work at different times. When I am in a funk, I look them over and choose, not what I think I need, but rather what will nourish me at that time.

To Reduce Stimulation

• Turn off the TV, radio, computer.
• Turn down lights.
• Turn up candles.
• Seek solitude.
• Get quiet.

To Increase Stimulation

• Play music.
• See a movie.
• Call a friend or friends.
• Get together.
• Laugh, sing, dance.

For Nourishment

• Take a warm bath.
• Eat something both good and good for you.
• Read something funny, interesting, inspiring.
• Take a walk.
• Take a nap.
• Get a good night’s sleep. Get two.
• Extend a kindness to someone else.

And Always

• Breathe deeply.
• Pray.
• Ask for guidance, & listen.
• Give thanks to everyone for everything.

Start a list of what works for you. Then, when you forget, you can get it out and be reminded. Remember, our forgetting function is very highly evolved!

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

There are times in our lives when we reach a place of overwhelm and exhaustion. We can hardly get out of bed in the morning and put one foot in front of the other to get through the day. We have used up our supply of energy and health and are running on brute force and awkwardness.

Here are some of the circumstances which can bring us to this state:

• Too much responsibility.
• Overwork.
• Crisis (one or more.)
• Overuse of one’s creative forces.
• Over-giving and under-receiving.
• Resistance to the course of one’s life.
• The burden and boredom of the commonplace.
• Erratic or inadequate self-care.

The two best remedies:

• Take to your bed for a few days.
• Take a vacation.

If you can’t get away and must persevere:

• Make a list or a mind map of your top 5 essential (vs. important) priorities.
• Schedule only what falls into those categories!
• Practice the Fine Art of Cancellation for everything else.
• Ask for help.
• Schedule short frequent periods of prayer and quiet time.
• Show up for them.
• Feed your body at regular hours and eat lots of greens.
• Drink lots of water.
• Carry a healthy snack with you to get you through the 3 o’clock downs.
• Reduce intake of sugars, caffeine and alcohol.
• Buy yourself a bunch of fresh flowers.
• Get to bed by nine.
• Be sparing of words and patient of spirit.
• Rest whenever and wherever you can.
• And hold on to your inner composure.

Sometimes we can recover in a short time, especially if we begin our turnaround early in the game. Sometimes it takes longer. Whatever it takes, be courageous and persevere. By practicing extreme self care, we can avoid illness and support recovery. The result is a return to health and well-being, and the energy to further our Extraordinary Life.

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

There are times in our lives when we fall into emotional distress. We lose our footing and slip into a whirlpool of feeling. Our capacity for clear thinking and perspective diminishes and we are immersed in suffering. When this happens, it is helpful to have a practice to use to help restore our equilibrium.

Here are some suggestions.

• Sit quietly. Breathe. Into the belly and out. Into the belly and out. Soften, soften. Deepen, deepen. Mercy, mercy.

• Notice the emotional distress. Notice where you are holding it in your body. Notice where and how you are contracting on it.

• Begin to make space for it by relaxing your body around it. Breathe into it. Breathe a large space around it.

• Keep breathing and softening and making space until the distress has room to float. Open your heart to it.

• Ask for guidance and support from your Source. Recite the Serenity Prayer. “God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

• If you are a walker, walk. If you are a runner, run. If you are a dancer, dance. If you are a yogi, do yoga. Take refuge wherever you can. In prayer, in sleep, in the simple tasks of the day — doing the dishes, feeding the cat, tending the children, watering the plants, sweeping the floor. Keep breathing. Keep making space. Keep softening. Keep opening your heart.

• Participate in group practice. Ask for guidance and support from a trusted friend or counselor.

• Practice forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others. Ask for forgiveness. Do this in prayer or in person.

• Practice blessing everything and everyone, including yourself. “Bless all those who are suffering. Bless all those who are causing suffering. Bless all those who are witnessing suffering.”

And remember, all things change. This too shall pass.

Bless you!

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

There are times in our lives when we are confronted with a difficult task or situation that we must navigate. Sometimes there is danger and we get caught in a whirlpool of fears. It is helpful, therefore, to take steps to dissolve fears and to support ourselves on the journey.

Here are some suggestions.

• Bring something to your sacred space that represents the situation or task.  Keep it simple. Sit quietly and ask for guidance and support.

• Set your intentions about who and how you wish to be throughout the process. Write them down. Then consider what you are willing to give and also what you are not willing to give. Set your boundaries. Write them down!

• If appropriate and useful, make a list of steps to take. Prioritize them. If needed, schedule time in your calendar for them.

• Finally, see yourself moving through in a calm and grounded state. Visualize and affirm a positive outcome with benefit for all. Release your attachment to how it plays out, and be willing to adjust.

• If an extended time is needed for resolution, continue to review your intentions and the steps to take, and renew your desire for a positive outcome.

• Affirmation to consider: “Let truth show itself and good come to me.”

When you are past the danger, review what you have learned and harvest it for future use.

Give thanks!

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

There are times in our lives when we are at a standstill. We are at a crossroads that requires us to make choices, and we don’t know what to do.

At these times, I remember some good advice I once received. “Never make a decision until you have at least three choices, one of which may be totally unacceptable.”

Here are some suggestions I have found helpful for this process.

• Get a good night’s sleep.
• Retreat into silence in your sacred space.
• Ask for help.
• Listen.
• Make a list of possible choices.
• Make a list of pros and cons.
• Consider the consequences of each.
• Consult with a trusted friend or professional.
• Pay attention to your feelings.
• Pay attention to your intuition.
• Be willing to wait until you know what to do.
• When you know what to do, do it and move on.

“There is not one moment when guidance is not available.”  Caroline Myss

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

Sometimes, after a difficult or demanding period in our lives, we find that our surroundings have deteriorated to a state of chaos and decay. The Law of Entropy has been at work and everything around us has descended to its lowest common denominator. The place is a mess. Here is a list of tasks to help you begin to establish order once again.

• Set aside a day to clean up.
• The day before, shop for good food (protein, greens, fruit, a healthy treat) and safe cleaning supplies. Include a bunch of fresh flowers.
• Get a good night’s sleep.
• Eat a good breakfast and if you take supplements, take them.
• Put on some music.
• Make the bed and hang up your clothes.
• Start the laundry.
• Do the dishes.
• Clean the bathroom.
• Take out the trash.
• Run the vacuum.
• Take a break in here to eat again. Keep it light and green.
• Gather out of place items into a container for later distribution to the places where they belong.
• Wipe the surfaces and straighten the furniture as you go along.
• Put the vase of flowers where you want to see it.
• Gather papers from all over the house and stack them on your desk in a neat pile.
• Pull out the Bills and important To Do’s into two separate piles.
• Put the rest in a basket to go through later.
• Update your To Do List. Mark the most important and urgent with a #1.
• Schedule some blocks of time on your calendar to do these.
• Finish the laundry, fold everything and put it away.
• Walk around your house, enjoy the newly established order and beauty, and congratulate yourself.
• Eat a good dinner.
• Do something pleasurable and fun.
• Before retiring, give thanks for all the blessings in your life.
• Go to bed at a reasonable hour and get some more sleep.

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

I first experienced this inspiring process with a group of my organizing colleagues and was amazed at the amount of power it delivered. It also turned out to be a lot of fun.

Get together with a group of friends. Three or four at least. More is better. We did it with about a dozen people. Bring a chart pad, some large sheets of paper or a large tablet. If you have big sheets, put them up where they can be written on and seen by everyone.

Begin your process by creating a ritual space. Gather in a circle and hold hands or place your hands on one another’s shoulders. Each person can speak an intention, a blessing, a request, or simply remain silent. This ritual creates a container for grace to arise and deepens the experience.

Then, the first person who is “it” sits quietly, and listens while the others take turns saying a word or short phrase describing one of that person’s positive traits, (for example: kind, honest, stylish; has a good sense of humor, is a good listener, can be called upon in a crisis.) It is important that the person who is being lauded remains silent. She or he can, however, smile a lot.

During this process, another person writes down the list of traits on the paper. When the paper is full, and everyone feels complete, another person is chosen to be “it.”

When every one has had a turn, each person is given his or her list of qualities.  We rolled up and tied ours with a colorful ribbon.

Conclude by gathering again in a circle, perhaps with each person speaking a word or two of gratitude or appreciation, or of what they received from the experience.

Take your list home and, if you wish, print it — by hand or on the computer — on a nice piece of paper. Put it up where you can see it, reread it and remember the good things about yourself which are seen and valued by others.

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved