As we enter the 21st century, riding high on the edge of the Information Age, we find ourselves in an era of unlimited possibilities. We have access to more information than at any other time in history. We receive daily communications from all over the world, many of them contradictory. We receive offers on radio, television and the internet, in the mail and in the mall, most of them unrealistic.
We are exhorted to purchase, to consume, to give, to join. We are offered beauty, status, riches and pleasure. We are told that with the right toothpaste, designer suits and cellular phones, we will acquire power, success and love. The message is, whatever we can imagine, we can have . . . somehow.

In my years as a professional organizer, I have observed that human beings are not well suited to unlimited possibilities. Living without boundaries on a daily basis produces anxiety, insecurity and frustration. Without a clear definition of how we choose to spend our time, we fall prey to every interesting outside stimulus, and are easily caught in the ‘webb’ and flow of the urgent but not important. We are spread too thin, often practicing crisis management, and everything never gets done.

Recreation becomes another thing to do and is quickly set aside when deadlines demand. We get to rest if we get the flu. And spending time doing nothing is often viewed as suspicious if not downright immoral. Even when we manage to steal a few hours for ourselves, we are pursued by anxiety and guilt. When all options are constantly available, little can be accomplished in depth or with a sense of well being, and over a period of time depression and exhaustion can result.

When I sit with clients as they look over their lists and schedules, struggling to select their priorities, I realize that our choices are no longer between good and bad, want and don’t want, or even better and best. Most of the things we want are the best, but are simply too much and too many for a single lifetime.

I believe that we can derive satisfaction and contentment from our lives only if we set limits for ourselves. If they are natural and comfortable, compassionate and realistic, they will produce results and will be easy to endure. If they arise from a value system which honors those things which fulfill us in the deepest sense of our being, they will inspire us and bring us joy.

The paradox is that by choosing limits, we can experience a measure of freedom not possible when all possibilities are constantly available.

© 1990, 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

From time to time, we may get caught up in a cycle of regret, remorse or resentment. These states of being drag us into the mire of negativity and drain our resources.

Here’s a simple affirmation to help free you up. I don’t know where it came from but I thank those who created it and those who made me aware of it, for I find it has fierce healing power.

I forgive myself  for all those things for which I need forgiveness.

I forgive all those who need my forgiveness.

I ask forgiveness from all those whose forgiveness I need.

Repeated in sets of three, it gains power and momentum.

When you are saying it, allow transgressions to arise and be forgiven. Visualize those with whom you are in resentment or remorse and open yourself to mercy, for yourself and for them. Be willing to allow forgiveness to happen. If your heart will not yet open sufficiently to allow it, ask your Source to allow the forgiveness for you until you are able to do it.

Notice what happens. Notice the feelings that arise. Notice where you close, where you are able to open.

Breathe.

Keep making space for it all.

Keep letting go.

Regular practice of forgiveness increases our capacity for happiness.

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
©  2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

“In life we cannot avoid change, we cannot avoid loss. Freedom and happiness are found in the flexibility and ease with which we move through change.”

Jack Kornfield, Buddha’s Little Instruction Book

The one thing in this world of which we can be certain is that all things are in a state of constant change. The stock market goes up – and down. The kids get the flu – and get well. The seasons come – and go. People are born – and die. Every day we are challenged to find ways to remain stable and functional through these changes.

Several years ago, when someone asked me to articulate the benefits of being organized, I came up with the usual list. When we are organized we save time and energy. We have reliable access to tools, information, documents and possessions. We experience an increase in clarity, creativity, productivity, and effectiveness. We feel less stressed and anxious, and we find ourselves surrounded by a more aesthetically pleasing environment. And if we have planned accordingly, we have guilt free time to rest, relax and play.

Later, as I contemplated this list, I realized that these were results of being organized. But the questions that kept arising in my mind were, why and how? During my ruminations, I turned, as I often do, to my dictionary and found this definition: “to organize: to put together into an orderly, functional, structured whole.”

When we create an orderly, functional structure, whether it be a reliable filing system, a realistic spending plan or a compassionate schedule of self-care, we provide ourselves with the possibility of harmonious interplay within a world of constant movement and change. The kitchen is organized and easy to use so that when stocked with good food, we can feed ourselves easily and well. The laundry can be easily done so that we can quickly clothe ourselves for the tasks of the day without stress. The children’s homework and field trip permission slips are at hand when we are ready to walk out the door. Records can be found at tax time. And we have a realistic schedule and an up-to-date To Do List to help us plan our days so that things get done in the right order in a timely manner.

An orderly, functional structure gives us the ability to dance more freely and gracefully to the music of the day. And this harmonious interplay lends us stability from moment to moment through the constant changes of our lives. This stability enables us to flow through changes rather than be knocked off our feet.

When we experience a sense of stability, we feel secure, and this security, in turn, fosters confidence and peace of mind. This state of confidence and peace allows us to access our creativity, enhances our ability to think clearly about our choices, and increases our capacity to cope, to prevail, and to thrive.

It is important that these structures be flexible and adaptable in order to support our work and our play, and to enhance our capacity to live constructive, compassionate and generous lives.

And it is essential that they be created with our values, our life purpose and our priorities in mind if they are to support us in our quest for an Extraordinary Life.

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

“Self-discipline and contentment are useful.”

The Dalai Lama

When we hear the word discipline, the first thing that usually comes to mind is that someone is going make us do something we don’t want to do. Self-discipline often means that we are going to try to make ourselves do something that we don’t want to do.

Our Independent Spirit or Rebel Dragon is immediately on alert and moves into action to prevent this act of will being imposed upon us. We answer email, take out the garbage, feed the cat, get online — anything to keep from doing what someone else (in this case ourselves) has decided we should do. In the process, we lose the power to show up for ourselves. We lose the power to further the evolution and happiness of our piece of the life force with which we have been gifted and for which we are responsible.

Try this. Think of discipline as a derived from the word discipleship, which means to dedicate or to devote oneself to a chosen idea or movement. In this context, we act as free agents making choices about who we are, what we do, and how we do it in order to move toward a higher purpose or goal.

The willingness to discipline ourselves, to dedicate ourselves to a certain behavior, arises from the desire for a particular result or state of being. This willingness is supported by our morning spiritual practice during which we remember what is essential to nourish our lives; where we gather the strength of purpose to persevere. Where we fill our tank, refuel, for the journey of the day.

Self-discipline enables us to choose and work toward what is healthy and good for us and for our work in the world.

Remember, however, to be patient with yourself. Sometimes you will show up and sometimes you won’t. Be kind, be compassionate, but persevere. Keep turning your attention toward that which matters most to you. The rest will fall into its appropriate place, or it will fall away.

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved

If we were to ask ten people to define a well-lived life we would probably get ten different answers.

Some people would measure success in money; others, by recognition of peers. For some it would be a well-designed and useful product; for others, a beautiful garden. Some would measure it in terms of good relationships, peace of mind or a contribution to saving the planet from ecological disaster. For most of us, it would be a combination of elements.

What combination do you envision when you picture yourself as a successful and worthy person? What do you see? What do you feel? What are the external circumstances by which you define a well-lived life? What are the internal qualities? Pick up a pencil and jot down a dozen words or a few sentences which describe this state of being.

Now think about this. What would you do if you could do anything you pleased with your life? What if you had all the money you needed, no relationship or geographical considerations, and your time belonged completely to you? How would you use your money? How would you spend your time? Just relax and let this fantasy blossom with no judgments or restrictions. Make some notes.

Is this the same picture that came into your mind when you visualized success or is it completely different? What does this tell you about your secret desires, about the ways in which you would seek pleasure and fulfillment if you were “free”? Is your “no restrictions” fantasy truly impossible? Or can you find ways to include some of its elements within the boundaries of what is practical and feasible in your life?

One of my clients, whose life path included taking care of a disabled child, said that if she had no restrictions she would go to China. “What’s in China?” I asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “It just seems so exotic.” So we began to talk about ways she could incorporate some exotica into her life in San Francisco.

Now think about this. What are the things in your life you feel you should or ought to do? Are these shoulds and oughts based on an outdated or inherited value system? Do they belong to someone else? Can you release yourself from them? And how about the things you must do? Can you delegate some of them to someone else?

And lastly, what would you do with your time if you learned you had only a short time to live? Do you have unfinished business that needs to be taken care of?

In order to successfully direct our life force, we need to clarify and articulate our personal definition of a well-lived life. We need to examine our values and, based on what we find, decide what we really want to be up to in this lifetime. We need to eliminate, as much as possible, the things that have nothing to do with what is truly important to us.

And we should tidy up things that need tidying.

Most of all, we need to listen to the inner voice of the wise one within us. The one who, when given a choice, chooses what delights and satisfies; the one who chooses the path of the heart. The one for whom the work of the day is not a struggle but a joy.

Excerpted from An Invitation to An Extraordinary Life
© 1990, 2009 Anacaria Myrrha ~ All Rights Reserved